What happened today was I met a hacker in a lobby. He had the usuals, aimbot, esp, and the like. I got a couple good kills on him, laughed off all the kills he got on me, and then I did something beautiful, when the rest of the team left, I challenged him to turn off his hacks and 1v1 me in a knife fight.
Yeah I’ve pretty much given up on trying to get a girlfriend. I’m just gonna wait for the right one to come along instead of breaking digging my own grave trying to find one. I live by the motto “It’s time to let old things die” and this crush I have on this one girl has to die out. I’ve got a life to live and I really shouldn’t be worrying about dating. Right now the only things that truly concern me are graduating high-school and going off to college. I’m considering medical school however if I change my mind I may just go into a more business related career. How does this relate to having a crush you may ask? All I’m trying to say is that there is a greater purpose that I need to pursue.
I commented on a youtube video relating to the Lovecraftian mythos (a good watch if you like learning about how not to write a story), and I decided to do a(n admittedly shitty) pun. Then some other boye came on and commented on my mental health. About a joke. Then there was a talk about racism, then somehow leading to Donald Trump (it was those kind of people).
SJWs man, they don’t know when to let bad jokes die.
So I recently got a notification regarding this post:
It seems hella depressing, and it was. If you remember back to my last post on this thread, you’ll know it got more depressing. Things have changed… a lot. And it’s for the better. So let me start where I left off.
I’ve since gotten over that what I will now call the “indescent incident”. Things were as they used to be; sit next to each other, talk occasionally, etc etc. Now it’s quite important to acknowledge that I have two other friends in the class. They’re both males, I’d class them as immature, and they’re friends who I’d rather not be seen in public with. They make the most pathetic cringe-worthy and inappropriate jokes that no-one laughs at. I despise them. Very much.
At the start of term 4, one of them was absent. This lasted around 5 weeks. And the other guy decided to sit next to me. It was the most annoying and upsetting 5 weeks of the year because unlike the girl who treated me nicely, he ought to tease, mock and insult me. He did everything in his power to be correct, going as far as correlating vaguely related things, all just to prove me wrong and him right. He constantly reminded me of how much of a disappointment I was to him. I don’t say this to people often, but I hated him. And I’ve told him on multiple occasions.
Though it wasn’t all bad. Before term 4, I found out that (apparently) she told me something that she didn’t her best friend. I don’t know if this is true, I haven’t asked if it were true, but it fills me with ecstasy and euphoria; a reminder that perhaps I stand a chance. Halfway through term 4, we changed classrooms, and things have been going better than ever before. Not only do I talk to her more often, but we also walk with each other after each lesson now. We sit on the opposite side of the classroom from both ‘friends’. Though I have yet to ask the dreaded question, I’m feeling great about how things are right now.
Recently, however, I had to attend a graduation ceremony and it definitely hit the feels. At the end, when the group left the stadium, one leader left late, and I watched her leave the stadium, captured every frame of time. “Reminisce this sight; this is last you’ll see of her.” Although we weren’t friends, it still hit me hard. As if someone had died, there’s that thought that you’ll probably never see them again, and it hurts real bad. I knew some of the people in the cohort by name and appearance. No one likes to say a permanent goodbye, and it’s about time I pay attent to my own legacy. Will I leave with regrets or content? Call it depression, but I’ve been in deep contemplation since then. As cheesy as it may be, I believe it’s time for not only me but for everyone to make a move.
The things I miss out on because I’m homeschooled…
If she stuck up for you obviously she has feelings for you. When you do ask her out just be confident! After all she is a human just like us all! I’m not denying the fact that the fear of rejection exists. However it never hurts to try y’know?
She trusts you with her feelings man that’s a green light in my book.
You’ve got this man just take it easy and get to know her even more. Maybe try hanging out with her? Get her contact info? Don’t try to appear desperate that’s what killed me.