Stupid shit you believed as a kid


#1

I’ll start.

I thought that below ground, in a small metal box, there was a man controlling everything at every single traffic light.


#2

That I’ll grow up happy

jk. I thought eating foil will kill me.


#3

That my parents were spies taking secret ways through roooms


#4

That the shop near my house would sell food for free to children ( turns out they gave food to me for free, then charged my parents for it, fucking smart asses)


#5

That Santa had a binoculars capable of xray and observing every child in the world to see if they are nice or naughty.

Don’t ask.


#6

That the supermarket always gave your money back for some reason (I didn’t know what change was back then)


#7

I used to think that the squeaks made by sneakers when rubbing up against the floor meant that the batteries in the smoke detectors were low.


#8

I also used to think that guys with cornrows/dreads/ long hair were girls. In kindergarten, I was yelling at some dude in our line to go into the girls line because his cornrows made me think he was a girl


#9

AS WELL AS not being able to tell the difference between lightskin/mixed people with white people. One day, I looked at my lightskin brother and asked my mom Mom, why is my brother white, and not black?


#10

Jesus TP who dropped you?


#11

Me.


#12

I used to believe tp was normal until now


#13

I was never normal


#14

When I was really little, I legit believed that boys evolved into girls as they grew up and that girls evolved into boys.

I also couldn’t tell the difference between someone being pregnant and overweight.

Five year old me was a retard.


#15

couldnt tell if up was down

i thought space was outer earth


#16

When I was 6 I thought high school was for people who were high


#17

In cocaine


#18

oh my fucking god I fell for this too
There was this food stand at a hotel in Cambodia that gave me eggrolls with no questions asked
and then my mom yelled at me when she told me she had to pay for a bunch of eggrolls


#19

I used to think that middle school and high school have only one grade

IM FUCKING WRONG


#20

I used to think that you got married to your sister, rather than develop a relationship with a complete stranger for a varied amount of time. And I was completely unaware of what incest was.